Protection (pt. 2): Drawing a line in the sand

I have a tattoo on my right arm, a Celtic style band with the words "I Refuse" written above it. The day I decided to get this tattoo was the day I finally drew a line in the sand, when I said to the Universe, "Enough! No more!" I had been overwhelmed with the constant pulse of fear and hate bombarding us all from all sides. The lack of hope, the constant despair and the blatant irresponsibility of everyone (it seemed) towards their own lives, actions and words. Irrespective of the fact that I had decided to be no longer a victim back in 1992, I felt the need to reaffirm that decision in a form for all to see. No more hiding in the shadows! No more silence! Enough! I had it!

The day I walked out of the parlor, the tattoo newly etched onto my skin, it was as if the whole Universe had come to a standstill and taken note. It understood what I meant, and it backed my decision 100%. It was a very spiritual experience.

Since then, the various reactions I've gotten to this tattoo has been fascinating. It's run the gamut from my mother telling me that fear was necessary (which gave me a disturbing insight into her psyche, let me tell you!) to my brother's partner's reaction of reading "refuse" as a synonym for garbage. For the most part, it's been greeted by confusion, as if the concept of refusing to be a victim, of refusing to give into fear, refusing to go along with the tumultuous tide of the rest of the world had never occurred to them. Confusion, and yes, a sense of unease; the very idea disturbed them. Of all the people who have asked about my tattoo, only one person got it and that was a stranger, a woman in a gas station who I had never seen before nor since. Interesting, no?

It seems that Western culture has indoctrinated a sense in us that we cannot control our own fate. If someone wants to make a victim of us, there is nothing we can do to stop them and at best, we can hope to pick up the pieces later. Bad luck and nameless bogeymen dog our every step, and we're taught to pray to God to protect us and use God to hate and persecute anyone who does not agree with us. Hypocrisy, fear, hate -- it's all endemic, and the sad irony, it's totally unnecessary.

Remember, fear is the tool of those who wish to have total control of everyone else. Hate is its step child. Frustrated rage turns against us, and censorship is the prop that hold all in place. Silence gives permission for the status quo to endure.

I refuse to buy into that paradigm. I will not be its victim nor will I be the victim of anyone or anything else. I choose my path, and I choose it alone. No one else has permission to interfere in any way, shape or form. I will not go there. I will not give in. I refuse.

Life is about choices, and with choices, comes permission of what we will or will not encounter and learn from. Whenever a choice is presented, it is as if we are being faced with a fork in the road and what direction we then choose to take, leads to its own set of consequences. The outcome is entirely up to us.

Both permission and choice are difficult concepts to explain. Most people revolt at the very idea that they made a choice or gave permission for anything bad that might have happened in their lives. This is understandable. Who wants to admit that they made a mistake? Who wants bad things to happen to them? Plus, it seems to be a part of the human condition to seek out scapegoats for our problems and blame them on someone/something else rather then accept that we ourselves might have had a hand in the matter.

What we tend to forget is that we are here for a reason, to learn and to grow and that doesn't happen unless we are presented with challenges. The phrase is "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger" not "That which delights us makes us stronger." It's the roadblocks in life that accelerate the process, not the fun times.

Does that mean a Holocaust victim chose to die the way she did? In some respects, yes. A soul incarnates for a reason and if part of that reason is to die horrifically, then it is a choice. Perhaps it is to accelerate the discharging of Karmic debt or maybe to help teach the rest of us an important lesson on tolerance. Who knows? That's part of the challenge in life -- we never remember why we are here! Why? Because how else will whatever we came to learn be truly learned? Does the implied choice of that Holocaust victim make her suffering any less? Hell no! Indeed, it elevates her to the role of a Saint. Is she responsible for what was done to her? No, because those who tortured her also made a choice and their choice is their responsibility, not hers. After all, if their choices were different, she would not have been forced to make hers.

The Universe is all about intent and what we intend is what we get. Sometimes that intention can be insidious, even unconscious. If we feel we don't deserve something, guess what? We won't get it no matter how many affirmations we chant to the contrary. If we become stuck in a mind set that is contrary to our growth, people will come into our lives to teach us the consequences of that mind set and the longer we hold onto it, the worse it will get. If you feel that you don't deserve something, the best way to prevent it from coming into your life is to act like you don't deserve it, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. If you put out negativity, you will get negativity coming back to you in its turn. If you worry about something bad happening to you in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, it will happen. Do not buy into the fear. Reject it, and by rejecting it, give permission for only the light to come into your life.

Refuse to be a victim. Draw your line in the sand.




PS - A complex, complicated subject and I've only managed to scratch the surface. It will probably come up again in the future.